I came to Minnesota to learn amazing things from Gray Cook and Brett Jones, the masters if movement. But the biggest life lessons I learned from 5 outstanding kids.
My friend Ann Marie has 2 biological children and 5 adopted children. Her adopted children all have special needs, ranging from fetal alcohol syndrome and full-spectrum autism to Stickler’s.
In the process of adopting them, she was told they’d never do things, from a range of talk and walk to go to school. She was also given the impression they’d never be able to follow orders.
You can imagine my surprise when I saw these children all addressing me as “Miss Kathy” before they asked me questions. Then they went to their chore chart and completed their morning chores before getting on the bus for school.
I had never seen more joyful yet disciplined children in my life.
That’s when MY questions started. These five special needs children are age 7-12, and yet they have a set of house rules with very specific consequences when broken. They have a rotating chore list that takes them about 15 minutes every morning, and I never once heard them whine, complain, or give flack to their parents.
I had to ask, “Are they ALWAYS this amazing?”
Ann-Marie replied, “Not Sunday nights and Monday mornings. Those are rougher.”
The difference? Sunday nights they come home from their father’s place, who doesn’t give them chores and lets them stay up late. They play video games and watch as much TV as they want, and they eat junk food the entire weekend.
She continued, “They are a bit of a nightmare when they get home. And their teachers say the day they notice their behavior is worst is always on a Monday.”
Perhaps we all crave the discipline that keeps us structured and on our path. These beautiful children did handstands and cartwheels with me, and we filmed impromptu song showcases. They were respectful and fun and like any other kid I’ve ever met.
But when it was time to go to bed or eat dinner, it was time. When it was time to do chores, it was time.
There was structure and discipline without complaining and without much press.
And that is the most important thing I learned on my first trip to Minnesota.
– Dr. Kathy Dooley