Sometimes, it takes years to realize a truth.
And sometimes, the enlightenment happens over dinner.
The great Christopher Warden sat next to me at dinner, and he helped me realize an important truth worth sharing.
When talking about judgment, he stated, “I think it’s human nature to judge others. We actually have to work NOT to do it.”
I can’t stop thinking of that concept. We must do what’s unnatural to not judge, and see the truth. We have to do work, so most of us just fall on our default of judgment.
We can always build a new program. But we must do work.
This made me think of one of my thesis advisors.
Exactly opposite in personalities, my advisor often sighed at me when I said his name.
I thought he was annoyed. I judged.
I sat in his course three times and helped in his lab for 9 semesters. He made me re-tag nearly everything I put on a practical exam.
I thought he was combative. I judged.
I asked him the pre-and post-ganglionic pathways to the hard palate. He told me to look it up for myself. He continued this with nearly every question I asked for those 3 years.
I thought he was mean and unhelpful. I judged.
Upon graduation, I went to his office. As I handed him a gift of thanks, he said, “Kathy, I know I was hard on you. But it’s just my way.”
I realized at that moment what I couldn’t see for three years. He wasn’t the bad guy. I had judged him, for making me tougher, more responsible, more self-reliant, more investigative. If there was a “bad guy,” it was Dooley.
Everyone is a reflection of your perception anyway. If you are judging what you see, it’s your own fault.
You might need to do work. I know I do. But like everything else, doing real work usually gets you somewhere.
– Dr. Kathy Dooley