Since my reign as a health bully ended, I have found myself to be a more effective doctor.
I am finding that health and balance are easier said than done. Also, I’ve learned that unsolicited advice falls on deaf ears.
This has been ultimately true with my father.
For years, I threw away his margarine and put Dawn soap all over it so he wouldn’t re-shelf it. A few months later, I’d be doing it again.
This game went on for 10 years.
Then I accepted an important truth: my advice is not ultimately useful to him unless he solicits it – and is willing to change.
My entire life, I’ve wanted my father to listen to me. When I became a health advocate and practitioner, it became worse. I wanted desperately for him to listen.
But he couldn’t, because he didn’t solicit my advice.
Then last month, it happened. I went home, and I laid off. I left the margarine in the fridge. I just sat and enjoyed my father, not trying to bully him into the decisions I wanted him to make.
And THAT is when he solicited my advice. As I sat quietly across from him, he asked me question after question about his knee.
And then he did the unthinkable: he let me treat him.
I’d been wanting that moment for 10 years. He finally gave it to me when I didn’t bully him into it – and when I didn’t ask. He came to me. And, he felt better. We felt better.
I will never discourage educating others. But make sure it can be heard and received, so it doesn’t fall on deaf, non-soliciting ears.
– Dr. Kathy Dooley