Dooley Noted: 12/5/2013
A friend called last night, lamenting about his relationship.
Regarding an issue, he used a phrase that haunts me still:
“I don’t know, Dooley. I think she has work to do.”
I highly appreciated the way he phrased her flaw. He never blamed her. He noted an issue with which she was dealing, and he acknowledged that she had work to do.
He didn’t pick a fight – or dump her – because she isn’t perfect. She’s isn’t the embodiment of some fantasy to which she has no hope of becoming.
She has work to do – and he is patient with her work.
He was quick to point out the work HE needed to do, too.
Perhaps divorce rates would be a bit lower if we leveled our fantastical expectations and got real.
We’ve all got flaws. That’s where the fun resides. The process is the result. We are evolving beings.
Whether you evolve alongside your partner is – as always – your call, and your work.
– Dr. Kathy Dooley