Dooley Noted: 3/11/2014
In 2005, I literally felt my heart break.
A six-year love and commitment fell apart. The love changed form, and I resisted.
A friend suggested I run to help me cope. I’d never run more than 2 miles in my life. So desperate to find comfort, I laced up.
I remember weeping through my first three-mile run. I looked at my tear-faced reflection after that first run. I looked at her thick, strange body.
I thought, “You’re not built to be a runner – but you will run.”
So, the mileage increased. Through plantar fasciitis and ankle sprains and faulty movements that nearly ripped my hamstring off it’s attachment – I ran.
But when I stopped at my front door, I always found the same truth:
There’s no place to go.
You can’t run from your problems.
You can run yourself into the ground and create new ones. But the old ones will reside unless you process and move forward.
After I finished that 26.2 mile goal, I hobbled to my massage therapist and chiropractor, barely able to ambulate.
After that day, I never ran more than 13 miles. That was my personal titration point.
At 13 miles, I can run and not fall apart.
Running changed who I am. I learned I couldn’t run myself into the ground and come out better.
I had to learn that all pain has the flipside of joy.
I learned that my pain is manageable if I see the strength that comes from the struggle.
My workouts no longer break me down. And I no longer run from my problems.
Now I run because I love it, with no set mileage. If my body breaks, that’s not a workout. That’s a work down.
And I prefer to build myself up.
Not everyone’s experience with running will be like mine.
For what it’s worth, balance was waiting for me when I was ready to find it. Everyone’s balance is different. And all of us need to seek more of it. Getting assessed and corrected is a great start.
As always, it’s your call.
– Dr. Kathy Dooley