Dooley Noted: 4/22/2014
Major relationships are making changes around me. It’s happening with the volition and determination of a freight train.
I’m not referring to the dopaminergic high of new love that inevitably down-regulates.
Some major relationships that have influenced my life are ending.
The metamorphosis of love has always fascinated me. How can long unions end so abruptly? Was it really abrupt at all? And when do people decide to make the jump from marriage?
Always the inquisitive one, I like to ask the long-term couples around me how they stay together when the love morphs into marriage.
Here are some answers I get on repeat:
“Communication is key.”
“You hopefully change in the same direction.”
“You constantly work on the relationship.”
Marriage isn’t dating, of course. They did sign a legal contract.
I don’t think it’s an accident that the keys people offer me to a long marriage are the same as an established business.
Now, we are always taught not to mix business with pleasure. Being a legal contract, marriage certainly breaks that rule.
But love changes like business changes. It’s not so strange to approach long-term love like a business.
Perhaps it’s smart to wait out that dopaminergic surge before committing to a business contract.
Otherwise, riding the waves of love’s metamorphosis can be advisable. A business approach is also something to consider.
As always, it’s your call.
– Dr. Kathy Dooley