Dooley Noted: 8/5/2014
While flying, I read People magazine.
One might consider this fluff reading, or even reading that distracts from one’s own life.
I found it educational!
The magazine featured two different reality television stars.
They had one thing in common.
They each gave their dutiful watchers the appearance of a perfect marriage, perfect family, and, naturally, a perfect life.
They were each devastated by cheating husbands.
They were beyond angry. The perfect image was shattered.
In no way do I condone cheating on your spouse. But the biggest problem I read was the shattering of an image.
What if marriage was never designed to be perfect?
I always thought that tumultuous stuff was reality!
There is great danger of vulnerability with expectation. The pressure of maintaining the image can make people crack.
I know when I’ve been the most angry or sad is when my expectations were unfulfilled.
I’m still on the fence if easing expectation is the answer, especially when a contract (like marriage) has been signed.
But I know anger and sadness create pathology. So working through those feelings is honorable.
Perhaps we can temper the expectations and aspire to be better, knowing that messing up just might be human nature.
As always, it’s your call.
– Dr. Kathy Dooley