Dooley Noted: 9/3/2014
Throughout my entire adult life, I had people asking me about finding “my other half.”
They were speaking of finding a significant other, of course.
But this phrase has powerful language to a young child, then a young girl, and even a grown woman.
Frankly, that phrase never sat well with me.
Even as a teenager, I thought, “Why would my partner be my other half?”
It left me to believe I needed someone else to fully complete me. To me, that was a co-dependency anthem, with love as my drug and my partner as the enabler.
I’ve had my share of exciting love relationships. But my expectations of my partners were pretty demanding, with this hidden assumption that they needed to fill some void for me. I thought there was a fine line between “settling” and “deciding to share a life,” and I didn’t know what made the distinction.
The man I’m currently dating doesn’t fit some magic mold I created for him. And while we have several things in common and not, he certainly isn’t my other half.
He found me when I was “busier” than I’ve ever been – and when I was the most complete within myself.
If you’re looking for your “other half,” I hope that you are actively attempting to find that half within yourself.
If you find completion in other humans, then you were never complete – and you won’t be after they are gone.
Your happiness is at your will – along with your completion. And once you’ve learned to obtain completion, you can have a blast sharing it with people you love.
As always, it’s your call.
– Dr. Kathy Dooley