Dooley Noted: 11/13/2014
Yesterday, I fell down the rabbit hole.
A lyric entered my head from what seemed like nowhere.
I made the conscious choice to listen to a song tightly wound to my past.
I felt myself willingly go to ITunes.
Search: “Me and the Moon.” Bryan White.
I smiled as I was hit with the Memory Mack Truck.
I hit repeat.
I felt an entire 6 year union’s highs and lows.
I listened over and over.
During this indulgence, I tried to remember what it was like to be me back then.
I’m the same woman now, aren’t I?
But all I could see was how I’ve changed.
My love for the song was identical.
But the hurt didn’t hurt the same.
The love felt different, also.
Many told me during that breakup that the only cure was time and distance.
They weren’t wrong.
What they left out was the work it took while time and distance accumulated.
I had a friend take his life after a relationship ended.
It’s devastating. It’s not to be taken lightly.
But if you love yourself first, you will see your way out of it.
And you’ll bow to the past and learn to love again.
Start with you. Do good work.
It took me years to learn to love and take care of myself.
It’s the only way to love and properly take care of others.
And we aren’t dictated by our past. We can use it as a catapult to thrust us toward love, forgiveness, and success down all of life’s avenues.
So, it’s okay to get hit by the Memory Mack Truck.
It’s healthy to assess where we currently are, based on where we’ve been.
But remember: the only person you are is who you are right now.
As always, it’s your call.
– Dr. Kathy Dooley