Dooley Noted: 8/15/2015
This morning, I fell short.
I’ll set the scene.
I was not at my best, going on two hours of sleep.
My friend and I were urgently getting to the airport, but we were set to be on time.
I found we were lucky, getting a cab at 5 AM.
But the cab driver was not on point.
Things started calmly enough, with we steering him correctly as he attempted to make a wrong turn.
Then, he continued to exit away from the airport.
This made me anxious, and in the circumstance, I lost my control.
I started to get audibly upset with him. As I did, he made mistake after mistake.
It resulted in me panicking that we would miss our flight. And that resulted in the driver going the wrong way down a ramp, endangering the three of us on a NYC highway.
My friend stepped in to calm the driver, and I mapped the terminal like I should have in the first place.
We arrived on time and made our flight.
And then my guilt came.
I lost my cool. I am a professional – and a person overcoming anxiety – who works hard to never let that happen.
My friend asked when I was ready to talk about it.
He then said, “You panicked. Which made him panic. You needed to give him what he needed. Be the opposite of what they are. He needed your calm.”
I learned quite a bit from the morning about how panic affects others.
And I learned I have more work to do to give others what they need.
You can panic, and escalate another person’s panic.
Or, you can be less reactionary, and you can work to give people what they need.
As always, it’s your call.
– Dr. Kathy Dooley
