Dooley Noted: 9/18/2015
I remember when my six-year relationship ended.
I was in such a massive amount of pain that I’ve never been able to replicate it.
During that time, my father was sitting at the kitchen counter.
My mother told me that he started crying over his coffee.
She asked him, “Roland, what’s wrong?”
He said, “When she hurts, I hurt.”
My father is a man of few words. So when he speaks, it is 100% from the heart.
He wanted to share my hurt, so I didn’t have as much of a burden to bear.
Since I’m currently dealing with some similar emotions, my first instinct was to call my mother.
You never want to upset your mother. The majority of calls mine gets are joyous ones.
But sometimes your heart is so tenuous, that you need someone that loves you to share the hurt.
I’m not a parent, but I have helped many friends and family members through challenging times.
You don’t wish those times on them. But one can’t deprive them of the struggles.
Through the hurt and struggle, personal growth is obtained.
And if you’re lucky, you’ll surround yourself with people that will walk alongside you through painful times.
I assured my mother that she shouldn’t worry. We all go through tough times, and I’ll be a better woman for embracing the struggle.
My mother ended our call last night with a statement I’ll never forget.
“Jo, I love you more than anything in the world. I’ll hurt with you.”
I felt a lightness surround my heart, like it was being lifted up.
If someone in your life is hurting, you don’t have to take on their full burden.
But share the hurt by walking alongside them. It may be exactly what they need to get over their hurdles.
As always, it’s your call.
– Dr. Kathy Dooley
P.S. Thanks, Mamacita.