Dooley Noted: 11/18/2015
This is a world of expendable connections.
I watch people swipe left and right, just based on a picture and an instinct.
I see apparently blissful couples bragging about their relationship, just to separate the moment things get rocky.
In the past, I’ve been guilty of discontinuing a union when he didn’t fit my picture of things I desire – before I’d even given the guy a shot.
After all, there’s always someone else around the corner, right?
But I grew up watching lasting love.
Tenacious love.
Unconditional love built on promise and trust.
My mother started dating my father at 15. She was gorgeous, young, and vibrant. He was 23 – and looked, sounded and played music like Elvis.
She was hooked. And so was he.
Three years later, they married. One year after that, they had Kimberly, their first child. Karen and I followed later to round out their brood.
I’ve watched the waves of marriage.
After all, I was on the boat with them, riding their waves.
Most of the time, we observed minor tidal shifts. Other times, there were monsoons.
But my parents never gave up. It wasn’t an option to them.
They knew they were better together than they were apart.
So they rode the waves. They still do.
And today is their 48th wedding anniversary.
Monsoons ranged from addiction battles to cancer to arteriovenous malformations. They endured the loss of both sets of their parents. They endured the bills and the temptations that rip apart most couples.
They walked through the depths of hell together. And they never lost their grip on each other’s hands.
Sometimes, one would try to let go – only to feel the other grip harder.
From the inside of the boat, they endured the monsoon.
From the outside of the boat, no one was the wiser.
As I embark on one of the most important relationships of my life, I know I can seek advice from a strong couple who understands endurance.
Their marriage has been a model for me on what it takes to make a relationship lasts. It’s been a marriage worth watching.
You can jump quick off the boat when things get rocky. 
Or, you can endure the tides, for the sake of partnership.
As always, it’s your call.
– Dr. Kathy Dooley
