Dooley Noted: 2/29/2016
It’s Leap Day – an extra day we are granted to do more, be more, live more.
Today, I’m especially grateful for finding the love of my life – right when I hit rock bottom.
The last decade had been a rough one in regards to feeling on my own.
I had to look my principle set in the face and embrace my weaknesses as strengths.
I had become a machine, embracing her passion to do good work.
I was efficient at work.
As my romantic relationships kept failing, I would throw myself even more into my passion to do good work.
I would give every ounce of love I could conjure and place it right into my work.
And I would expect nothing in return but the chance to do my work.
I would come home, exhausted – with a full understanding that people around me were passing their judgments.
“You work too much.”
“You give too much.”
“You’ll burn out.”
“You’re too career-driven.”
“You’ll never be in a loving relationship that will last.”
So, I would lay in my bed after my long work days, and I would meditate.
I leaped into my faith that my partner was out there.
I did not waver for 37 years.
Even at my most rock-bottom point – when I thought I had given every ounce of love I had to give – I found a little more faith in myself to love.
When you hit rock bottom, all the barriers and lies and opinions and judgments are completely gone.
You are left with you – and your faith in yourself.
Even at my worst, I still took that leap of faith that I was worthy of love.
I believed that all the good I put into the world would not be seen as just a career – nor a liability.
And 37 years later, my leap of faith proved me right.
I was granted with such a vast degree of love, understanding, and commitment that I’m certain the universe shifted the day I met him.
I was gifted with a calm that showed me peace was a feeling.
And this year, on this Leap Day, I’m granted with an extra day with him.
Yes, I’m doing what I love for most of it.
But he is with me in every motion, every thought, every step.
He feels it. I feel it.
I give better care.
I’m centered on my axis.
I’m stronger than I’ve ever been.
And it’s not because he completes me.
It’s because I know I can trust myself.
My faith was right all along, all these years.
I held out.
And I found him.
It took a long leap of faith and abundant patience.
And like all great things – he’s worth the wait.
On this Leap Day, I hope you dig deep and stay true to yourself.
I hope you always leap towards faith in yourself and what you’re worth.
As always, it’s your call.
– Dr. Kathy Dooley
