Dooley Noted: 5/19/2016
Last summer, I was a different person.
If I didn’t have a 12-hour workday scheduled, I was nervous I was not fulfilling my purpose.
I had no social life and a strained love life.
I couldn’t balance between fulfilling purpose and self-nourishment.
This created a depletion in the body that accumulated until I had given so much that there was nothing left to give.
A concerned friend sat me down and told me this:
“The giver must set boundaries because the taker never will.”
So, I started scheduling my workouts and therapy sessions as non-negotiable appointments.
Instead of being at seminars every single weekend, I traveled to see family and friends on off weekends from teaching.
On occasion, I stayed home to bask in what was usually an empty apartment.
I started to allot myself more sleep.
I felt guilt settle into me, as if I were wasting time resting when I should have been working.
Then I remembered what my friend had taken the the time to tell me.
And I remembered that the heart feeds the body, but it feeds itself first with the coronary arteries.
If you give too much without taking, you will deplete until you cannot give.
The heart won’t inherently do that, so you shouldn’t, either.
I hope you learn to feed yourself.
I know how these small interventions in self-care have nourished me.
It can be as small as a meditative train ride or as big as a sabbatical.
Every day, we can make small steps to care for ourselves first, so that we may give more to others without depletion.
As always, it’s your call.
-Dr. Kathy Dooley
