Dooley Noted: 6/13/2016
This is a picture of me in mid-December 2015.
I look thinner and more depleted than usual.
I was the most depressed I had been in years.
I was heartbroken and, on this day, unable to see the hurt of others.
I deprived myself of food.
I was in mental turmoil, letting my emotions take me to dark places.
Old pains started to resurface in my body.
I didn’t have the energy to train.
My blood markers for stress were elevated, and my blood sugar was all over the place.
I was the least healthy I have felt in years.
Yet, I was rewarded with compliments on how much weight I was losing.
The people giving compliments in my time of turmoil? They aren’t bad people.
But we live in a world where compliments reign freely about appearance.
Appearances aren’t facts, just as the way I felt about myself was not a fact.
I am quite healthy now, with blood markers normalized and a mindset that could change the world for the better.
Had I not conquered an eating disorder in my early 20s, those compliments in my time of turmoil may have verified that I was doing something positive for myself.
Coming out on the other side of turmoil, I urge this from you:
Don’t reward dysfunction.
You may not know you are even doing it.
Try to avoid rewarding people for looking a certain way.
Much better rewards are available.
Thank people for their kindness or generosity.
Congratulate them for their accomplishments.
It’s safer this way, since you don’t know the source of the change in appearance.
Rewarding dysfunction can help someone maintain it.
As always, it’s your call.
– Dr. Kathy Dooley