Dooley Noted: 6/17/2016
There is nothing quite like spending time with my dear friend and incredible colleague, Dr. Randy Menser.
My husband and I had the honor of hanging out with him for the day.
He took time to use his brilliant manual therapy skills on Jonathan and I, even though he was feeling down.
He recounted to me some of his recent difficulties with the women in his life.
Being such a man of honesty and compassion, he has experienced that not all good deeds go returned.
He is in the midst of the hurt cycle, not easily able to see his way out of it.
So, I did as all good friends should do.
I reminded him that his relationships have not worked for good reason.
I told him what he had told me 11 years ago, when my longest relationship fell to shambles:
“Love yourself enough to know when to walk away.”
He told me then to be patient, and that the hurt was only part of the process of moving forward.
I reminded him that he was currently in the same hurt cycle he helped me through, and I took his advice to see myself out of it.
Hurt is perceived as pain, and pain isn’t a punishment.
Pain is sometimes a necessary evil to experience growth.
The hurt cycle is an inevitable one, but I know this much is true in the short duration of my marriage:
Love and forgive yourself, and you will absolutely attract people who love and forgive you right back.
The hurt will happen less and less the more you face this truth.
The only way to walk out of the hurt cycle is to experience it – walking with it, in order to move in the direction of the people who won’t hurt you.
As always, it’s your call.
-Dr. Kathy Dooley